


We Young

by fifteen_half



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Gen, Hurt!Dreamies, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Hyungs, Team as Family, hurt!jaemin, hurt!jeno, ot18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-06-21 20:02:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15565389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifteen_half/pseuds/fifteen_half
Summary: It was a night that was supposed to end in celebration. Not like this. Not with news of a car pileup and their youngest members in danger.They were supposed to gather in one of their favorite restaurants, celebrating another milestone met. Instead, they find themselves rushing to the hospital, hoping and praying that none of them will have to say goodbye.





	1. Chapter 1

While the members of NCT 127 and U had schedules in the same location, the Dream members were farther away in another site, filming for a new variety show. Everyone was happy for the kids, and proud, so they planned to celebrate this by eating in one of their favorite restaurants. As the day ended with the members’ spirits still high, excited at the thought of good food and even better company, none of them noticed the solemn mood at the site. When they were about to head out, they saw one of their managers on the phone, frantically pacing back and forth. The staff around him were silent, the expression on their faces serious and grim. Confused, the members look at each other, wondering if something was wrong.

Taking the lead, Taeyong turned to one of the staff nearest them and asked, “Did something happen? Do we need to retake or something?”

The hesitation on the staff’s face was obvious. It was also obvious that the man wasn’t telling them everything when he stiffly answered, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. News just came in of a bad pileup so some roads have been blocked. Eunwan,” the senior manager on the phone, “is just worried which highway we should take. Just… hang in there until we get the cars ready, okay?"

Seeing that there was no other choice, the members decided to head back to the waiting room. While Doyoung and Johnny were worrying about whether they could get to the restaurant on time, Mark and Donghyuck took out their phones, probably informing the Dreamies about the hold up. After a while, one of their managers came in, his smile strained when he asked, “Mark, Donghyuck, when was the last message you received from the Dream members? Can you message them now? Ask how they’re doing?”

At any other time, Taeyong would not have found this suspicious, but the weird atmosphere just now was making him worried. Everyone else must have thought the same thing because they were all focused on the two youngest, waiting. Donghyuck, too, must have caught on as well because he was frowning when he said, “Jaemin said they finished early, that everything went well, so I guess they’re okay? After that, it was just the normal, useless things. Why? What’s wrong?”

“How long ago was that?” the manager stressed, “The most recent message… what time was that?”

“Around an hour ago, hyung,” Mark answered, his frown deepening when the manager’s expression changes, “Chenle was joking about how they’ll get to eat first.”

“I see. All right. Can you try calling one of them?”

“Mark hyung and I tried to a while ago,” Donghyuck said, “None of them answered though. I thought they might already be eating. Hyung, what’s wrong?” he asked the manager again, “There’s something really strange going on. This isn’t a hidden camera, is it?”

When the manager didn’t answer, Yuta suggested, “What about the staff with them? Maybe we should try calling one of them instead? The kids could get really distracted sometimes.”

“Well…” the manager started, sounding unsure.

And then all of a sudden, it hit Taeyong.

“Where did you say the pileup happened?” he asked, his heart pounding in increasing anxiety, “What highway was that? One of the staff said there was. That it’s causing traffic. That we can’t go because the roads are blocked. Hyung, where was it again?”

The members who had their phones out started searching news sites. Immediately, the manager with them turned frantic, his words coming out fast and panicked, “Guys, we don’t know for sure, all right? There’s no need to think of the worst. Like you said, they said they finished early. They’re probably—,”

It’s one of the worst cases of car pileups in recent history, they read. Authorities grimly say that they expect no less than fifty casualties. Over a hundred cars were involved.

"Oh my god, hyung,” Jungwoo gasped, “Isn’t this where—,”

“Hey, let’s not assume things, yeah?” Lucas said, trying to placate his hyungs, “The kids could be fine!”

“Or they could not!” Doyoung yelled, then he turned to the manager and said, “Since when was this?! Why did no one tell us what happened?!”

The anxiety in the room was near bursting, with everyone yelling over each other, worry, anger, frustration and helplessness all mixing up. Taeyong could only watch in shock. They were supposed to be celebrating right now. What the hell happened? With so many thoughts swirling in his mind, Taeyong would not have noticed his phone ringing until Yuta, who was trying to comfort a crying Sicheng, pointed it out to him.

It was an unknown number.

Taeyong would normally not take calls like this, but he wasn’t exactly in the best state right now so, with shaking hands he answered, “Hello? Who is this?”

“Hi hyung,” a tiny, subdued voice greeted, “They told me to call one of the managers but I could only remember yours so—,”

It was like all his senses returned in a rush. Dizzy with relief, Taeyong didn’t even realize he’d sat down when he said, “Jisung ah?! Fuck, what happened? Are you all right? Why haven’t you guys been replying to our messages? Where are you? Are the rest of the members there? Are you—,”

Suddenly, the phone was snatched out of his hands. Startled, and still worried, he was about to yell at the person when he realized that the one who took his phone was Mark. Mark, who was always so strong, looked like he was on the verge of breaking at any moment.

“Jisung ah, it’s me,” and with a voice so soft and gentle he asked, “Tell hyung what happened?”

Around Mark, the members and staff alike grew silent. With bated breath, and with increasing dread, they watched as Mark paled and paled as he listened to Jisung. When the call ended, Mark looked at Taeyong and with a shuddering breath he confirmed what everyone feared the most, “They’re at the hospital, hyung. Both Jisung and Chenle are fine. Renjun was admitted and is resting. He said they’re with him in his room, that they were allowed to stay for tonight. But Jeno and Jaemin… Jisung said he didn’t know.”

In all the time he’s known Mark, Taeyong had never seen the younger boy look so helpless or look so afraid. With tears in his eyes and his breaths coming up short, Mark continued, “He said they were all sleeping in the car when it happened. He woke up suddenly and it was like he was getting thrown around. When he came to... when Jisung came to he said he saw Renjun lying on the ground, with Jeno beside him. He said he didn’t realize he was also lying on the street until he heard Chenle crying. And then he said he saw Jaemin and… and there was so much blood, hyung, he said. Jisung said he’d never seen so much blood before— hyung, he said… Jisung said… he was so scared, hyung! They’re all scared!” almost panicking now, but unable to stop himself from telling his hyungs what happened, Mark kept on stuttering, “W-we need to get there, hyung! They need us! He said… he said Chenle won’t stop crying. That-that the n-nurses had to inject him with something to c-calm him down. Hyung! Taeyong hyung! We have to… we have to!”

Taeyong couldn’t take it any longer. Rushing forward, he hugged Mark as fiercely and as protectively as he could, hoping to comfort the distressed boy.

“Mark, Mark, listen to me,” he said, “Please listen to hyung? We’ll get to them, I swear. But please, you need to breathe, Mark. It’ll be okay. It will all be okay.”

“He sounded so scared, hyung,” Mark sobbed, “And I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“I know. But we will,” Taeyong promised, “We’re the hyungs, right? It’s our job to take care of them. It’ll be all right. You’ll see. You kids are really strong. You know this, right? Right, Mark?”

When Mark still didn’t answer, Taeyong felt lost, and more and more helpless. But then Donghyuck stepped forward and took Mark’s hand. With tears glistening in his eyes, he tugged Mark to look at him. And with a voice thick from crying, he said, “Hyung, you clearly don’t know how stubborn Jeno and Jaemin are. They’re two of the most stubborn, most troublesome, stupidest, bravest people I know. I mean, when we get there looking like this, I bet they’ll just laugh at us for worrying so much. I can already picture Jeno’s idiotic face with his smiley eyes. Heck, I can hear Jaemin’s deep ass voice scolding us for being worrywarts. It’s fine. They’ll be fine. And if they’re not—,” he faltered and, with more tears welling up in his eyes, Donghyuck wetly laughed, “And if they’re not… Well. We just need to get there, right? We’ll kick their asses for making us worry so much!”

And, like magic, Mark stood up straighter, looked less lost and less hopeless. He needs to be a hyung now. He can have a breakdown later.

Taeyong watched fondly as Mark hugged a now sobbing Donghyuck. Looking at his members, he couldn’t help but feel proud when they all started gathering themselves, trying to be strong.

“We know which hospital they’re in,” a staff solemnly informed them, “The cars are ready outside.”

Watching as his members leave, some consoling others, some with their heads down, and some trying to hold the tears in, Taeyong could only pray.

The kids had to be all right. They just had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just recently became a fan of NCT so if they're acting out of character, please accept my apologies!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there any medical inaccuracies, please suspend your disbelief! i researched as much as i could, which is why it took me a while to get this out, but i'm no medical professional and might have misunderstood some things.
> 
> in any case, enjoy!

It was like misfortune really was upon them that day. No matter how much they all wanted to be with their youngest members, to see with their own eyes that they were okay, they couldn't. Because no matter how much they treated each other like true brothers, in the eyes of hospital officials, they weren't.

Some members accepted this, and just hoped that they would be allowed to visit soon, but there were some, like Doyoung and Lucas, even Taeyong himself, who couldn't. They _needed_ to see them, even for just a little bit. Just to make sure that they were all right. To be sure that no one had to say goodbye. So Doyoung was on the phone with a representative from the company, and was trying to convince them to _at least_ let a few of them visit.

It was during this time when more news started to trickle in.

Someone from the company was already there. In cases of emergencies, a representative of the company could act as their guardian if no one from their immediate family could be present. Through him they learned that Jisung's parents had arrived at the hospital, that they didn't need to worry about the two youngest as they were in good health except for some minor cuts and bruises, and that Jisung's parents were making sure that the two were preoccupied so as not to distress them further. They also learned that both Chenle's and Jeno's parents were on their way, that even Renjun's parents had been informed and had already booked the earliest flight to Korea. Jaemin's parents, however, hadn't been notified yet. His family was currently on a trip abroad it seemed, and the company hasn't been able to contact them.

It was through the company representative that they learned more about the accident itself. According to reports, the members' van was hit on both the rear and the passenger side, causing the van to roll over, stopping only when they hit a utility pole some distance away from the road. The van had ended up on its side, with fuel leaking from its pipes and was in danger of exploding like some cars reportedly had. But someone from the group had dragged the unconscious members away from the van and into relative safety. Because of this, the paramedics had been able to treat everyone immediately upon their arrival. No one knows who had done this at the moment, as both Jisung and Chenle, the only members who were currently conscious, were still too shaken up to answer. The incident was still too near, the fear still mounting, that every time they were asked, they choked up, unable to speak.

All seven occupants of the van, the five members and two managers, had all survived. The manger who had been driving the van suffered the most injuries and was currently in ICU. The other manager had broken his leg, but would be able to go home once a cast has been made for it. Renjun had fractured his collarbone but was apparently still unconscious. Doctors suspected that Renjun’s current state was more from trauma rather than a serious head injury. Once he wakes up, and if no signs of head injury will be seen, Renjun would be able to go back home to them right away.

Jeno, on the other hand, had hit his head hard on the window, and was currently being prepped for a CT scan. The paramedic who had been with them reported that despite the lacerations on his head, Jeno’s injury was thankfully not that severe, and that he would most likely have a mild concussion. A CT scan was ordered only to ensure that it was nothing more serious than that. The representative had also been able to talk to Jeno briefly, and was happy to relay that Jeno said he felt fine, aside from a bad headache and the cuts bruises throughout his body, and that the hyungs shouldn’t worry too much about him.

Jaemin, on the other hand, fared a lot worse compared to the other members. His condition wasn’t critical, doctors even said that he could go home after a night or two at the hospital, but recovery for him would be a bit more painful than the others. He had been sitting at the back of the van and on the passenger side, where the van was more strongly hit. A twisted metal from the wreck had pierced the van so when the van began to roll, it had stabbed Jaemin on his side, causing him to bleed profusely. Fortunately, no major artery was hit and the paramedics were able to get to them in time to stop the bleeding. And though the stab wound sounded serious, what warranted a hospital admission wasn’t this, but signs indicative of a chest injury. Upon their arrival at the ER, the doctors noticed how the seat belt had left bruise marks on Jaemin’s chest. This was a sign of a chest injury, something that could lead to a more serious condition, and had prompted the doctors to order a chest x-ray. The company representative had no news of the results yet, but would update them immediately as soon as he could.  

Jisung had been sitting between Jaemin and Chenle and had come out of the accident with only cuts and bruises. Chenle had also hit his head, but other than a prominent bump, he experienced no other pain except for the cuts and bruises all the members had. The representative said they looked exhausted and most definitely still in shock, and that it was best to let them rest and leave Jisung’s parents to take care of the two youngest.

“We’ll arrange the visit for you soon, but for now, it’s best if everyone goes home,” the representative said through their manager’s phone on speaker-mode, “You might not need to visit either. The doctors I talked to said they’re fine and can go home—,”

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, gwajang-nim,” Doyoung suddenly said, his voice stiff, the expression on his face cold and hard, “I understand… _Believe me_ that I understand that it is best if we all go home. Because we’ll only add to the chaos but— _but_ ,” he stressed, the frustration and worry evident in his voice, “We’ve spent more time with each other than with our real families. We lived together, we’ve been working together for years and… and I just… I know it’s difficult, and I know how irrational it is, but… I can’t just go home without making sure that they’re all right. I can’t just leave without at least assuring them that their hyungs are waiting for them to come home! So please,” he pleaded, “Even for just an hour. Even for just a few minutes! Please just let us see them.”

The only response they received was silence.

Angry and disappointed, Doyoung yelled out then stormed away. Ten quickly followed behind, but not without frowning at the phone, shaking his head in frustration.

Taeyong, seeing that some members were getting more and more agitated, and afraid of the members saying something that they’ll regret later, quickly took the phone, thanked the representative then ended the call.

He sighed when all that aggravation was now directed at him.

“Before you get angry at me,” he said, looking at Lucas then at Johnny, “Remember that we’re still working for this company. Even if we’re right… _especially_ when we’re right, we can’t just… I don’t know! I just don’t want us to say something we’ll regret! We promised to stay together, remember? The kids wouldn’t want us to start fighting because of them.”

“Taeyong’s right,” Taeil added. He wasn’t looking at anyone, just at the floor, when he said, “We need to calm down."

"...I still want to see them, though," Jungwoo softly said, gripping Lucas' arm tighter, "It just... it really hurts that we aren't allowed to."

"That's what I don't understand!" Lucas angrily yelled, "We just want to see them, that's all!"

"It's because we're not the only ones who had loved ones in that accident!" Kun yelled in response, surprising everyone who had never seen him this angry, "I, too, want to see them! I've spent a lot of time with the kids recently and the thought of them hurting and not being able to do anything about it is  _painful_ but... there are other people there who were also in the accident, people with families and friends who also want to see them. I want to be selfish but I don't think it's right to go against hospital rules in a time like this."

"...but we're the hyung's, aren't we?” Johnny whispered, his eyes brimming with tears of frustration, “How can we do our jobs if we’re not there? How can we take care of them if they’re not allowing us to?”

No one could say anything to that.

In the silence, the manager’s phone rang again. Taeyong looked dumbly at it for a moment, before picking up the call.

“I talked to the hospital,” was the first thing they heard when Taeyong turned the phone on speaker mode, “And they’ve allowed you to visit.” And then, with a much gentler tone, he said, “I know this is difficult for all of you. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like. And so I’m sorry if I was too callous a while ago.”

And because Doyoung wasn’t there, it was Taeyong who said, “No, it’s okay, gwajang-nim. We’re all just really worried.”

“I know. Which is why I should’ve been more careful with my words,” and then, going back to the topic, he continued, “Unfortunately, the hospital will only allow five of you to come. Please decide among yourselves who will be visiting.”

Five members. That was more than Taeyong was hoping for.

With relief blooming inside his chest, he gratefully said, “Understood. Thank you very much, gwajang-nim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to those who left a kudos, bookmarked and left a comment in the first chapter... I <3 U!! thank you so much! your encouragement inspires me <33


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this next week but, since it's Jaemin's birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NANA!!

As the cars that would take the rest of the members back to the dorms arrived, they offered words of comfort before climbing into the vehicles.

“Tell them… to keep fighting, Doyoung hyung!” Lucas said, trying to cheer up, giving Doyoung a quick, strong hug.

“And that I’ll make them really good food when they get home. Lots and lots of food!” Kun added before following Lucas inside.

“I’ll watch over the rest of the members, Taeyong ah,” Johnny promised, “No need to worry about us.”

“And I’ll watch over him,” Ten whispered to Taeyong, “We’ll all be all right.”

“Drive safe, guys,” Doyoung called out, “Call us when you get back, okay?”

With Taeil and Jaeyun’s promise that they will, the only members left behind were Taeyong, Doyoung, Mark, Donghyuck and Yuta. A manager was going to be driving them and they were only waiting for the van to arrive.

When the company representative said that only five could go, none of them had the heart to make Mark and Donghyuck stay behind. Taeyong feared what their reaction would be when they see the injuries of the rest of the Dream members, but the two wouldn’t say no. Taeyong couldn't make himself leave the two alone, especially when Mark wouldn't stop blaming himself and Donghyuck was becoming more and more unresponsive.

Doyoung, who had been adamant on seeing the Dreamies from the start, looked calm and collected on the outside but to Taeyong, it was obvious that he was not, for he could see him worrying away at his lip, biting the soft flesh until they were swollen and red. Doyoung cared for all of them but he’d always paid closer attention to the kids, having seen them all grow up. He treated all them like a hyung should but there was also no doubt in anyone's mind that he'd always treated Jeno like an actual younger brother. None of the Dreamies begrudged him of that, and in fact, often used his fondness for Jeno against him.

The fifth member that was supposed to go with them was Johnny, until Yuta suddenly asked if he could go instead. Johnny had protested a bit, as did Ten, Kun, Jungwoo and Lucas who all wanted to go as well, but they must have seen _something_ in Yuta for they all quickly backed down.

Yuta had been uncharacteristically silent all this time, though it wasn’t as if Taeyong could blame him, as Yuta had been taking care of Sicheng who had passed out from a combination of anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Yuta had always felt responsible for the younger Chinese and so often looked out for him. However, once upon a time, Yuta had also been close to Jaemin.

Taeyong remembered that before they became NCT, it had been Hansol and Yuta who Jaemin looked up to the most. He often followed them around, and would look at them as if they’d hung all the stars in the sky. But then Hansol had to leave, and Yuta had become a part of 127. And then Jaemin himself had to leave for treatment. 127 had become busier and busier that by the time Jaemin came back, what was once comfortable had become different and awkward. Taeyong knew that Yuta regretted this, had often wondered how the Dreamies came back together like Jaemin had never left at all. He'd been planning to invite the younger on a trip around the city, once they got a vacation. But Yuta had never gotten the chance to and now this…

When the van arrived, Taeyong ushered Mark and Donghyuck inside then guided them at the back of the van so he could sit with the two of them. Yuta and Doyoung followed after them, Doyoung quickly taking out his earphones and Yuta staring listlessly outside the window.

It was grimly silent inside.

In the years Taeyong has had to travel with NCT, this was the first time it was this silent. Hopefully, this would also be the last.

Having sat himself between Mark and Donghyuck, Taeyong wound one of his arms around Mark's shoulder, then he reached for Donghyuck's clammy hand, hoping to give some comfort.

Looking at Yuta and Doyoung in front of him, both still worried, and anxious and afraid, Taeyong couldn't help the shuddering sigh that left his lips. They received news that the kids were all right, but those moments when they didn’t _know_ what had happened, when they couldn’t help but imagine the worst, still lingered. It must be different for each person, but for Taeyong, he’d only feel reassured when he sees the kids for himself; when he hears the kids themselves tell him that they’re okay, that they’d be able to go home back to them soon. But for now, the fear would continue to plague him.

Holding Mark and Donghyuck closer, tighter, Taeyong settled himself for the drive. At this point, all anyone of them could do was hope.

* * *

They were met with chaos when they arrived at the hospital. There were a lot of reporters outside, lots of people who could be friends or families of the victims, and police who made sure no one else would get hurt. The manager with them was on the phone, informing the company representative that they were there. After the call, he made them pull up their hoodies and passed them facial masks to hide their faces. After making sure that they wouldn't be recognized, the members were quickly ushered inside the hospital. The company representative met them, then quickly led them further inside.

“Renjun’s awake,” was the first thing he said, slightly lifting the somber mood, “Doctors said he could go home when he wants to.”

“And Jeno? Jaemin ah?” Doyoung asked.

The representative paused, as if he was choosing his words, before saying, “Jeno’s CT scan revealed a small skull fracture,” upon hearing a sharp intake of breath of Donghyuck, he quickly added, “But this is fine. Apart from constant headaches for a few weeks, some nausea or moments of lethargy, he can recover at home. He’ll still be monitored for a night, just in case, so Jeno has been admitted as well. Jaemin’s x-ray showed that he’d fractured his ribs. It sounds serious, but aside from having chest pains and some difficulty in breathing, he can recover at home as well. Jaemin will need to stay for longer though, to make sure there’d be no complications, but other than that, he’s fine. He’s conscious as well, though in pain, but he’s fine. We were lucky that there were wards available so both Jeno and Jaemin are in the same room as Renjun. Jisung and Chenle are there as well.”

At the mention of the youngest’s names, Taeyong asked, “How are Jisung and Chenle? Have they rested at all?”

“Physically, they’re fine,” was the answer, “but they’re still a bit shaken up. They’re better now though, especially when Jaemin was wheeled in, but I must stress that you shouldn’t ask them about what happened. The doctors say that they should process this on their own and to only ask them when they’re ready.”

Taeyong was holding onto Mark’s hand the whole time, so when he felt the other boy’s hand gripping his tighter, he couldn’t help but look back at the younger.

“You okay, Mark?” he asked softly.

Mark nodded stiffly, “Yeah, it’s just… scary. I keep hearing they’re okay and I know they are but I keep on thinking the worst things and I just… why did this have to happen, hyung?”

And wasn’t that the million dollar question. Why did bad things have to happen? Why did it have to happen to them? Some would say it was to learn a lesson, but was all this pain worth it? Taeyong didn’t know, so Taeyong could only offer Mark a hug.

When they finally stopped in front of a room, the representative turned to them.

“I need you to remember that doctors themselves have said that they’re all okay. No matter how they look, they’re okay,” when he received grim nods from the members, he continued, “You only have a few minutes. I’ll be back to pick you up.”

With that, he opened the door and quietly ushered the members inside.

It was a four bed ward, with all the curtains that usually separated the beds drawn aside. Renjun was at the bed nearest the door, Jeno was beside him near the window. Across Jeno’s bed was Jaemin’s, and beside Jaemin was Jisung, who had curled himself into a chair with his knees drawn up to his chest. All of them looked like they were sleeping. It was Chenle, who was on the last bed with his mother singing softly beside him, who noticed them first.

Sitting up quickly, Chenle looked up at his hyungs with wide eyes; eyes that swiftly began to fill with tears.

“Hyung…” he choked up, now sobbing freely, “Hyung…!”

Understanding her son, Chenle’s mother stood back, prompting Mark and Donghyuck to take her place by Chenle’s side, embracing the younger boy between them as gently but as fiercely as they could. All the tears that Donghyuck held back since learning of the accident began to flow, as did Mark’s. Taeyong was about to go to them when he heard rustling sheets beside him and found that Renjun was also beginning to wake up. The sounds of crying must have also stirred Jeno awake, for he was now gingerly sitting up, and also looking wide-eyed at them. Doyoung didn’t need any prompting to go to the younger boy, who also began to cry, but muffled now as he’d buried his head at the crook of Doyoung’s neck.

Watching as Yuta hesitantly made his way over to Jaemin who was still deeply asleep, Taeyong smiled sadly as Yuta sat stiffly at the foot of Jaemin’s bed. Taeyong hadn’t noticed it before, but it seemed like Jisung had been holding onto Jaemin’s hand this entire time. He watched how Jisung gripped Jaemin’s hand tighter, watched how he looked at Yuta warily, as if he was afraid that Yuta would take Jaemin away from him. What had happened to cause this? Why did Jisung look so afraid? The thought was so heartbreaking that Taeyong wasn’t surprised when Yuta kneeled in front of Jisung and took him in his arms. Jisung refused to let go of Jaemin’s hand at first, and though Taeyong couldn’t hear it from where he was, Yuta’s words must have coaxed Jisung into letting Jaemin go to wound his arms around Yuta. His grip on the elder was tight, and his sobs were heart wrenching.  

“Hyung, you’re here?”

At the soft question, Taeyong turned to Renjun and smiled sadly at him, “We’re here, Renjunie. We’re sorry we couldn’t come earlier.”

Renjun was about to shake his head, most likely to assure him that it was fine, but winced when the action jostled his neck. Taeyong was instantly at his side, brushing his tears away.

“Hey, hey, Renjunie. It’s okay, just stay still.”

“It hurts, hyung,” he whispered, breaking Taeyong’s heart, “It really hurts.”

Dragging a chair, Taeyong sat beside Renjun and began to gently brush his hair away from his forehead. “I know it hurts. And if I could, I would take all the hurt away from you, but I can’t. But you need to know this, Renjunie,” Taeyong said, smiling, “All the hyungs are here to take care of all of you.”

* * *

Despite all the drama that had transpired, not once did Jaemin stir from his sleep.

After the tearful reunion, they were all now dispersed throughout the room— Mark and Donghyuck had squished Chenle between them on the bed Chenle had been previously occupying, Doyoung had carefully sat beside Jeno, his arms around the younger boy’s shoulder, Taeyong himself was on a chair beside Renjun’s bed, holding the boy’s hand to reassure not only Renjun but also himself that they were still here. Yuta had pulled a chair to sit beside Jisung, the youngest’s head resting against Yuta’s shoulder as Yuta himself had him in a half hug. In the midst of this, Jisung had somehow found Jaemin’s hand again and refused to let go.

It wasn’t just Yuta, but it was the Japanese who was most visibly worried about Jaemin. The room’s atmosphere was lighter now, with everyone in a better mood, so despite how some of the fear still lingered, they were able to converse like they were simply hanging out in the dorms. Yuta would quip from time to time as he always does, but he would also constantly look back at Jaemin, as if hoping he’d find the younger boy awake.

Taeyong had been wanting to ask someone, _anyone_ , what was wrong, if Jaemin really was all right, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He’d never seen Jisung look so fragile before, and he didn’t want to see him break. Taeyong suspected that this was the reason why Yuta hadn’t asked either.

And maybe they were too obvious, or maybe Renjun himself was that perceptive, or maybe because he didn’t want them to ask, because it was Renjun who suddenly said, “Jaeminie... they made him sleep. He said it hurt to breathe, that he couldn’t find a position where it hurt less, so they injected him with something to help.”

“Oh,” was all Taeyong could say, because when they said that the kids were all right, it never really occurred to him that they were ‘all right’ only in the sense that they were alive, that they’d survived. The fact that Renjun was wincing every time he moved, how Jeno had a pinched expression from what must be bad headaches, and the fact that Jaemin had had to ask for something to help him sleep, all made Taeyong realize the gravity of what really happened.

They really could have lost them. And it could’ve been so much worse.

“But he’s… okay, right?” Mark hesitantly asked, afraid of the answer, “Jaeminie… he’ll be okay, right?”

Surprising everyone in the room, it was Jisung who firmly replied, “He will. Jaemin hyung promised me. He said he wouldn’t leave. He promised me he wouldn’t.”

While everyone looked worriedly at Jisung, Mark and Donghyuck looked down at Chenle, whose whole body had suddenly tensed when Jisung spoke up.

Alarmed, Donghyuck gently nudged the younger, “Lele, what’s wrong?”

It was with trepidation as they watched Chenle bring his knees to his chest. He buried his head between his knees and just shook his head in response.

Over Chenle's bowed head, Mark and Donghyuck looked anxiously at each other.

What exactly did the two youngest experience to act like this? Jeno and Renjun didn’t seem to be as shaken, though it may be because their pain was distracting them. And Jaemin… well, Jaemin had always been really strong, so…

As if their thoughts were heard, Yuta suddenly said, “We all know how Jaemin is, right? He’s super strong! And we know he isn’t the type to break his promises. So if he promised he’ll be all right, then I’m sure he will be. Besides,” Yuta said, smiling down at Jisung, “Jaeminie’s fond of you the most, Jisung ah. If it’s you, he’d be willing to do anything.”

In reply, Jisung only nodded, obviously unconvinced. It was heartbreaking to see Yuta’s smile disappear.

And because Chenle was between them, only Mark and Donghyuck heard him whisper, “…no, not _anything_.”

Doyoung, watching all of his unfold, just remembered how they were told not to ask. He should’ve done something, _anything_ , because he couldn’t bear to see the two youngest in such despair. Before he could do anything though, the representative was there, and they had no choice but to follow him out.

When they were given time to say goodbye, but only goodbyes for tonight, the hyungs assured each of the members that they’d be back, giving them all the tightest, gentlest hugs they could. Donghyuck even went as far as pecking them on the cheeks or their foreheads, gaining giggles from Chenle and Renjun, and a weak slap from Jeno. Jisung barely moved. As for Jaemin, each of them whispered whatever they thought would wake him up sooner— words of comfort, of strength, some teasing from Mark and Donghyuck. Yuta lingered the longest, and though still asleep, finally invited the younger on the trip he’d been planning.

“It’ll be hyung’s treat,” he whispered, his eyes brimming with tears, “I said I’d take care of you… but I’ve been really bad at it, have I? I don’t know if you’ll let me have another chance, Nana, but I hope you do. Because I’ve been _so stupid_ not to realize how much I missed you,” brushing Jaemin’s hair away from his eyes, he said, “So come back to hyung, please? I’ll be better… way, _way_ better. I promise.”

With a quick kiss on the forehead, Yuta followed the rest of out of the room.

When they entered the hospital, they were filled with despair. Now, they were leaving with determination.

The kids _were_ all right. But they will be _better_.

They know that recovery won’t be easy, but even though none of them were related by blood, they were still family. And family took care of each other, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...i should really work on the pacing D: still, i hope you enjoyed! let me know your thoughts, please? :D
> 
> this is my first time celebrating nana's birthday. i hope this day will be filled with all good things for him! happy happy birthday, jaeminie!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter to set things up!

By the time they arrived at the dorms, the sun was about to rise. Taeyong hadn’t been expecting it, but he wasn’t surprised when they were greeted by all the members who had all stayed awake, waiting for them.

As they sat around the living room, it was Doyoung who gave everyone the news.

“We weren’t able to see the managers, but we got to talk the kids except for Jaemin. Jeno has a mild concussion, but he said he’s okay apart from a constant headache. Renjun… Renjun’s collarbone broke. He said it was painful but I think they’re gonna be giving him different pain meds to see what works better. Both Chenle and Jisung are fine, physically, but… they both looked like they still couldn’t believe what happened. Chenle was quiet, wouldn’t say anything unless spoken to. Jisung wouldn’t leave Jaemin’s side. We don’t… we don’t know why yet, but we’re guessing it’s because Jaemin got hurt the most. Hopefully, he’ll open up more once he’s sure they’re all fine.”

“Jisung not leaving Jaemin’s side…” Kun softly said, smiling lightly, “Jaemin must really like that.”

It wasn’t a secret how fond Jaemin was of the youngest members. Even before they debuted, and even when he came back, his fondness for the youngest members never changed. You could always see him chasing them around, cooing at them or pinching their cheeks even at the smallest things. So the thought of Jisung, who always turned away from Jaemin’s coddling, refusing to leave his side brought a smile on everyone’s faces.

Doyoung was also smiling at the thought, but he sighed when he said, “It would’ve been nice to see but Jaemin was asleep the entire time we were there. Renjun said that Jaemin couldn’t sleep because of his ribs so they’d given him stronger pain meds. He never stirred even when we made so much noise.”

“But he’s fine, right?” Ten asked, needing to make sure, “It’s nothing else but that, right?”

“That’s what we were told,” Doyoung replied, “He needs to stay longer though. To make sure there are no complications. The rest can be discharged after a night or two.”

“So they’re coming home soon?” Jungwoo asked, hopeful.

At that, everyone paused. Taeyong looked around and met a manager’s eyes.

It was a while before he said, “Nothing’s been discussed yet. But for now, we’re assuming their parents will be taking them home.”

Their parents taking them home... That meant that they wouldn't be able to see them until they were well. Taeyong didn’t know how he felt about that. Of course he understood that family came first, but at the same time he also wanted them here. And, looking around the room, it was obvious that he wasn’t the only one who thought this way.

“Hyung,” Mark suddenly said, worried, “I promised Chenle I’d watch over him.”

“I promised Renjun the same thing, too,” was Taeyong’s reply, “But if their parents want to take them home…”

“But this is home too, hyung,” Donghyuck said, “Right?” Burrying his head on the crook of Taeyong’s neck, Donghyuck whispered, “I want them to come home, hyung. Is that bad? Am I selfish?”

Taeyong fiercely shook his head, “No, of course not. I want them here too, Hyuck. I want them here, too.”

They all slept fitfully after that, each with their own dark thoughts whirling in their minds. When they woke up, everyone was told that someone from the company will be coming by to explain what will happen, that all activities has been cancelled, and that they should stay in the dorms for now— which was good, because it wasn’t like they could do much else so soon.

It was when someone turned on the news when they realized how big the accident really was. And it was then that they realized just why they were told to stay at home.

“How did they know our members were in the accident?” Jaehyun asked aloud, a frown marring his face.

“I’m just glad there aren’t any pictures,” Taeil added, “Do you think reporters know which hospital they’re in?”

Doyoung shook his head, “God, I hope not. Jisung and Chenle don’t need this kind of attention. It’ll only make them worse.”

“Fans are worried already,” Johnny said as he browsed his phone, “Pretty soon they’re going to want some answers.”

It had only been less than a day when it was reported that some members of NCT Dream had been involved in the accident and if the fans won’t get answers soon, things could get worse. Fear and worry and anger made people irrational. And in this situation, adding more to the chaos would only endanger more people.

As the day passed, everyone stayed in 127’s dorm, leaving only to get a change of clothes or to wash up. No one wanted to be left alone today, especially when they still weren’t sure what will happen. Finally, someone from the company came and told them that they’ll be releasing a statement regarding the Dream members’ accident a few hours from now. The statement will be vague, only pointing out that though the members were injured, they were fine and were recovering well. They still wouldn’t be able to go out of the dorms, at least until everything has settled down, but it was fine because the Dream members chose to recover at the dorms instead of their own homes.

“They were allowed? They said that?” Sicheng asked, just to make sure he hadn’t heard wrong, “They really said they wanted to stay here with us?”

“…not in those words. Not exactly. In Renjun’s case, the dorms would be the best option instead of renting a hotel with his parents or going home to China. Jaemin convinced his parents that he would be fine in the dorms. Jeno, Jisung and Chenle refused to be separated with the rest. It sounds worrying, but the doctors assured that this would be the best way to deal with the trauma since they would be around others who would understand what they went through. Because of this, we’ll need some of you to come with us to the hospital. First, to bring Jisung, Chenle, Jeno and Renjun home. And second, to learn how to make sure they’re recovering well.”

As expected, everyone volunteered to go, but in the end they all decided the four eldest would be going instead.

“Make sure to get everything the doctors say, okay hyung?” Doyoung reminded them, though the tone of his voice made it sound like a threat, “You have to teach it to us later!”

“I honestly think I should go too!” Donghyuck whined, that bit of life returning to him making Taeyong sigh in relief, “I mean, I’m the only one who can make Jisung and Chenle listen!”

Mark snorted, smiling wryly at his best friend, his mood lightening at the sight of Donghyck acting silly again, “You mean Jaemin is the only one who can make them listen.”

“Exactly!” the younger exclaimed without missing a beat, “And I’m the only one who Jaemin listens to!”

“Riiiiiight…”

Chuckling fondly at the younger boys, Taeyong couldn’t help but ruffle their hairs in amusement. Amidst the grumbling and noise, Taeyong promised them, “We’ll learn everything well, don’t worry.” Looking at everyone in the room, he smiled, “Cheer up, okay? They’ll be home soon.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late but...
> 
> Happy 2nd Anniversary Dreamies!!! Let's keep going for a veeeeery, very long time!!

Johnny was trying to carefully lead Renjun towards the room the younger shared with Jeno, but the way his members were hovering around them was seriously starting to annoy him. They were told not to jostle Renjun’s shoulders too much, how do they expect him to do that when they kept getting in the way?! He was _this_ close to growling at Sicheng but refrained, knowing how worried the Chinese boy was. Besides, Yuta would only yammer at him then. And then Taeil would lecture at him to be a better hyung and he did _not_ need to hear that.

Making Yuta open the door for them, Johnny gently sat Renjun down on the bed, only to be surprised when he saw how the younger was grinning up at him.

“Renjun? What is it?”

The boy in question laughed, “The sling is pretty sturdy, hyung. And the meds are working better now. You didn’t need to hold my hand all the way here!” Renjun was amused at everyone’s sudden protectiveness, and while he found it funny, he was also very, very grateful and so with as much sincerity as he could, he said, “But thank you, _hyung-deul_.”

Johnny, Sicheng, Yuta and Kun smiled back at him. They knew they were being ridiculous, aside from Sicheng who was just too worried, but it wasn’t as if they could help themselves. They watched these kids grow up after all. Who wouldn’t feel even a little bit protective?

“Renjunnie, do you need anything else?” Sicheng asked, sitting slowly beside the younger, that worried frown ever present on his face, “Are you in pain? Are you hungry? Hyung can buy food for you if you want?”

“I can just cook something,” Kun shrugged, as he was planning on cooking for them anyway.

“Or I can chase everyone away so you can rest!” Lucas cheerily declared, suddenly appearing at the doorway.

Renjun really was tired, and all he wanted was to rest, but he smiled gratefully at them all.

Johnny was about to say something too but the sound of retching outside the room made him pause.

He glanced outside and saw Lucas immediately running towards the bathroom. For a moment he wondered if he should help as well, until he heard Sicheng say, “Wait wait, don’t get up! It’s fine! Doyoung-hyung is taking care of Jeno, remember? Jaehyun-hyung is there too. Renjunnie, please.”

If Renjun was happy and calm before, the younger boy was anxious now, staring fretfully outside. Sicheng had both his arms around the younger Chinese, preventing him from getting up. Johnny was sure Renjun would have already run out the door if it weren’t for Sicheng. At the direction where the bathroom was, the sounds of miserable retching could still be heard.

Everyone was told that this would be normal for Jeno and that they shouldn’t worry about it too much but Johnny was seriously not prepared to hear and see the younger boy be sick like that. Hell, he hadn’t been prepared when he saw the younger members at the hospital either. In all the years they’d been together, sure he’d seen them get sick, but he’d never seen them look so small and so fragile.

Bringing his attention back to Renjun, Johnny crouched before the younger one. Catching Renjun’s gaze, Johnny said, “Doyoung won’t let anything bad happen to Jeno, Renjunnie. So try not to worry about him too much, okay? The only thing you should be focusing on is your own recovery. Let your _hyung-deul_ take care of everything.”

Renjun was biting his lip, the distress on his face painfully obvious. “I just… want everything to go back to normal again, hyung,” he whispered, “I hate seeing Jeno sick. I hate how quiet Jisung and Chenle are. I hate how Jaemin isn’t here. And I hate how everyone is so sad. Why is everyone so sad, hyung?”

“It’s because you’re important to us, Renjunnie!” Sicheng declared, his arms around the younger boy tightening just a little bit, “I hate how much you’re hurting and I can’t even do anything about it!”

“It’s true. I feel guilty for everything even if it doesn’t make sense,” Kun said, smiling sadly at Renjun.

“And I told myself I’d do everything to make you guys feel comfortable and wow, I already failed, didn’t I?” Johnny chuckled self-deprecatingly, “I’m sorry we made you feel that way, Renjunnie. Just give us a bit of time. I think we’re all still overwhelmed from it all.”

“I… I know, hyung. Sorry I made you feel bad—,”

“Renjunnie~! We told you it’s not your fault! Stop thinking like that!” Sicheng scolded, lightly flicking the younger Chinese on the forehead.

The action made Renjun smile. Chuckling softly, he said, “Sorry, hyung. I think I get really emotional when I’m tired.”

“Then sleep!” Johnny commanded, slowly standing up from kneeling on the floor. Stretching, he looked down at the younger boy and said, “We’ll take care of everything so all you need to do is rest. Okay, Renjunnie? No more depressing thoughts. You’re with us now. _Hyung-deul_ will make sure nothing bad will happen.”

“Okay, hyung,” Renjun replied as he gingerly slid inside the sheets of his bed, trying to avoid moving his sling, “But you shouldn’t forget to rest too, okay?”

“Aish, this kid, I told you to stop worrying, didn’t I?” Johnny groaned, “I’ll make sure everyone gets proper rest, promise.”

Kun chuckled, “I think you should start with Sicheng, hyung.”

“Yeah,” Yuta agreed, “You didn’t sleep well at all, did you?”

Amused as the hyungs were ganging up on Sicheng, Renjun said, “Then you should rest too, _gege_.”

Sicheng sighed, defeated. He looked at Renjun, hesitated a bit before asking, “Do you mind if I stay with you then, Renjunnie? I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Renjun didn’t mind, already knowing how the elder boy somehow needed the assurance but, “I’m just gonna sleep, hyung. Though I think I’d sleep better with hyung there, I think Chenle would need the comfort more.”

Johnny couldn’t help but quickly glance at Sicheng then, trying to gauge his reaction. Both Renjun and Jeno had been asleep when they arrived at the dorms. Renjun didn’t know that Sicheng had already asked Chenle and had already been rejected. The youngest Chinese boy hadn’t been mean about it, but it obviously hurt the elder boy judging from the expression on his face earlier.

Sicheng must have looked sad because it was Yuta who replied, “I think those two want to be left alone for now. I saw them head straight to Jisung’s room. Hasn’t come out since.”

“Oh. Then please stay, Sicheng- _gege_ ,” Renjun softly said, already half asleep. He scooted a bit to the side to make room for the elder boy. The action brought the smile back on Sicheng’s face.

When Sicheng had situated himself beside Renjun, the rest of the hyungs prepared to leave the room. Yuta gave both Renjun and Sicheng a peck on their cheeks. Kun bid Renjun to sleep well and asked Sicheng to watch over the younger boy. Johnny had closed the lights and was about to leave the room when he heard Renjun say,

“Hyung, just in case Chenle and Jisung go missing… check Jaeminnie’s room first, okay?”

Confused, Johnny asked, “What do you mean, Renjunnie?”

“…because they’re still scared. Because Jaemin promised them he’d be okay… and he nearly wasn’t.”

“Renjun…?”

“We’re still scared, too, hyung. But we didn’t see it like they did.”

Johnny and Sicheng looked at each other, the surprise and worry evident on their faces. They were told that the drastic change in behavior of the two youngest was because they’d gone through something traumatic. Everyone thought it was the accident itself but Jisung’s behavior towards Jaemin and now Renjun’s warning made Johnny realize that maybe something else had happened. Johnny really wanted to help the two youngest, but none of the hyungs could get through to them. They rejected everyone and chose to keep to themselves. But maybe… maybe it was because they were missing something? Finding hope at the thought of finally understanding what their youngest was going through, Johnny was about to ask Renjun to clarify except… except the younger boy was barely keeping his eyes open.

Johnny sighed. It was fine. They had enough time… right?

“Sleep well, Renjun ah. I’m glad you’re back home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, i almost forgot! 
> 
> i made a [twt](https://twitter.com/aswellinthesea) account so that i could fangirl about nct and jaemin as much as i want kekeke~ i'm planning to make a nomin au too but, we'll see when it'll happen >_< whoever wants to be friends, let's talk!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't really an update, but more of a filler?
> 
> not yet finished with the chapter but this part didn't fit in with what i was doing so i'm just posting it separately.

Jeno hated this feeling. It was like he was having this migraine all the time but worse and even though he wanted to sleep, he couldn’t because the pain just wouldn’t go away.

After throwing up everything he’d eaten this day, Jeno didn’t have enough energy to go and lie down on his bed. Instead, he’d asked Doyoung to let him sleep on the couch despite the elder’s protests. Lying down with an arm across his eyes, Jeno could feel Doyoung fidgeting beside him, obviously worried.

“I’m really okay, hyung,” he whispered, “I just need… to sleep it off. You should sleep too, hyung.”

“I know, but I’d feel much better if I’m here,” Doyoung replied, voice soft as well.

Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to convince Doyoung otherwise, Jeno smiled, “Sap,” he teased, “My hyung is the biggest sap in the world.”

“And you love me for it,” Doyoung smiled, gentle and fond, “Now sleep. Are you really sure you don’t want to sleep on your bed?”

Jeno still had an arm over his eyes when he replied with a, “Yeah. I really don’t want to move anymore, hyung.”

“I can get Johnny hyung to carry you?”

“Noooo,” Jeno whined, embarrassed at the thought of being carried to bed, “I’m just tired, not an invalid. Just… sleep, hyung. Let’s just sleep.”

Always wanting the best for the younger boy, Doyoung let him be despite his misgivings. There wasn’t anything wrong with sleeping on the couch, but the bed would’ve been much more comfortable for Jeno. Shaking his head out of fondness, Doyoung slid off the couch and sat on the floor. It wasn’t as if he was going to get some sleep tonight, so he might as well spend it with the younger boy.

A while passed before Doyoung woke up as Taeyong draped a blanket over him.

“How long was I out?” he murmured, still half asleep.

“An hour or two, I think?” Taeyong answered, whispering.

“The others?”

“Sicheng is with Renjun, both of them are sleeping too. Jisung and Chenle went to Jaemin’s room just now. I tried talking them out of it ‘cause there’s just one bed in there, but… I can’t really take it when they look sad, you know? The others went back to their dorms so it’s just you, me, and Sicheng here.”

Now somewhat more aware, Doyoung eyed Taeyong, frowned at the others’ haggard appearance and said, “Have you slept at all, hyung?”

At least Taeyong had the decency to look apologetic. He smiled, “No. Not yet.”

Doyoung sighed. He patted the space next to him and said, “Just sit here then. It’s not the most comfortable place in the world, but I did get sleep so that’s something. I’ll keep watch, I promise.”

Taeyong laughed but he sat beside the younger anyway, “I don't think that's needed but thanks, Doyoung ah.”

“Anytime, hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next part will be jaemin!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember, everything here is fictional and so anyone's thoughts and feelings are fictional even though they're based on actual events :D

Now that he was alone at the hospital, Jaemin was bored out of his mind. He hated it. The silence made him think too much.

Like how Jisung refused to talk to him, even though the youngest wouldn't leave his side. Jaemin understood that Jisung was angry, but how was he supposed to apologize if the youngest refused to listen? Or how the hyungs left with the other members, even though one of them could have stayed in the hospital with him. Jaemin knew that maybe the company didn't want anyone to be seen at the hospital, but he also couldn't help but think that maybe none of them wanted to stay because it was him. Because it was just Jaemin. And he wasn't anyone important.

But of course that wasn't true. Jaemin knew his hyungs cared. Maybe they just thought he didn't need anyone there. Maybe they thought he could handle it by himself. Whatever it was, it was definitely the silence's fault. He was left with nothing to do but  _think_.

So when Jaemin woke up the next day, all wanted to do was sleep. If he was just going to be alone with his thoughts, it was just better to sleep. Watching TV wasn't good because the channels kept suddenly showing updates about the accident and Jaemin didn't want to be reminded so soon. Movies would've been a good distraction, but he hated watching movies by himself. He could waste his time browsing the internet, but then he lost his phone during the crash so that wasn't even possible.

Besides that, every movement was painful. Even breathing hurt. Jaemin never really thought about how he breathed before, but now he felt all of it. The worst was that he had to cough every two hours to prevent infection. At least the ice pack that he had to put over his chest every hour provided some relief since it numbed the area, but even placing it over his chest hurt.

Deciding that waking up wasn’t worth it for now, Jaemin was about to settle in to sleep again. But then he heard a voice teasingly say, “Rise and shine, sleeping beauty~ The world says hello!”

Surprised, Jaemin's eyes flew open and found a grinning Ten looking down at him. And it wasn't just Ten either. Kun and Jungwoo and Lucas were there too.

He smiled at them all, his eyes lighting up in joy. At one point last night, Jaemin had stopped expecting for anyone to come. It couldn't be helped. Just like before, they would be too busy, too tired. They wouldn't have time for him. So the fact that Ten and Kun and Jungwoo and Lucas were here, that someone had come at all, made Jaemin really, really happy.

But because it was Ten, someone who had to deal with his lazy ass during mornings since he unluckily lived with them, he scrunched his nose and whined, “Just five more minutes, hyung.”

Ten laughed, most likely remembering all the times he said that when they were already late for a schedule, so in mock anger, he said, "Be thankful you're injured. I would hit you if you weren't lying on a hospital bed, Jaemin ah!" 

Jaemin snorted, then regretted it instantly when his chest and side protested. Wincing at the pain, he looked up at his hyungs and whispered, “On second thought, let's just sleep. Talking is too painful.”

Kun rolled his eyes at him, “You should follow doctor’s orders then, so you'll heal faster. The nurses told us you've been skipping the exercises, Jaemin ah."

Jaemin smiled sheepishly, then he puckered his lips and complained, “But it really hurts, hyung.”

"Yes, I know. But they won’t make you do it without a reason. Do you want to stay here longer?” Kun asked, daring the younger.

“Of course not!”

“Great!” Jungwoo suddenly exclaimed, a pillow on hand, “Time to cough then Jaeminnie~”

With an unimpressed scowl, Jaemin muttered, “I hate you all.”

“What? What did you say, Jaemin ah? Hyung didn’t hear that,” Ten said with the scariest smile on his face, “What did you say again?”

“I said, ‘I looooove you hyung!’ Why would I say anything else?” he grinned, smiling sweetly at Ten. Knowing that he couldn’t escape the inevitable, especially with his hyungs watching him, Jaemin braced himself against the pain before slowly pushing against the bed so he could sit up. It was difficult when he did yesterday, since he had to do it by himself, but now Lucas and Ten were there, instantly grabbing his arms to help support his weight as he sat up.

A little out of breath from the effort, Jaemin smiled, "Thanks, hyungs."

Lucas just smiled and ruffled his hair in response.

Jungwoo came then and handed him a pillow, bigger than the one he was using yesterday.

“The nurses told us this would be better since the hospital ones aren’t as firm,” he explained, “So we bought this one on the way here. I hope it helps, Jaemin ah.”

Jaemin smiled as he hugged the pillow to his chest, “I hope so too. Thanks, Jungwoo hyung.”

As he was instructed, Jaemin had to take slow and deep gentle breaths every two hours. That was fine, relatively speaking, since taking deep breaths also pulled at the stitches and stretched his fractured ribs. He liked that far better than the coughing though. Still, he had to do both in order to prevent complications like a collapsed lung or an infection in the lungs. The nurses told him that both complications could lead to fatality, but they also told that to him with huge grins on their faces. Jaemin knew they were just pulling his leg because he kept on pouting at them when they made him do the exercise.

Hugging the pillow against his chest as tight as he could, Jaemin breathed deeply then forced out several coughs, his eyes tightly shut from the pain. He kept his eyes closed, his head bowed and hidden against the pillow, until most of the pain ebbed away. When most of the pain was gone, and he wasn't concentrating so much on breathing, Jaemin was surprised to feel that someone was sitting behind him and was running their hand through his hair in an attempt to provide comfort. He looked behind him and saw Ten looking at him with a frown.

“Okay now?” Ten asked, all humor gone from his face, replaced with worry instead, “The nurses said we could ask for more painkillers—,”

Jaemin quickly shook his head, “I'm okay, hyung. I don’t need painkillers as long as you’re here.”

That got Lucas roaring in laughter. Ten just rolled his eyes at him while Kun and Jungwoo were laughing as well. Jaemin, on the other hand, looked at all of them like they all grew another head. He pouted, “What? Why are you laughing? What did I do?”

Instead of answering, Lucas just laughed even harder. Jungwoo sat on his other side and with a fond smile, he said, “You really do it unconsciously, don’t you, Jaemin ah? Saying sweet things like it’s nothing.”

“But it’s true,” Jaemin insisted, puckering his lips even harder, "I really do feel better if you're here."

Kun mock cringed then laughed, “Hearing you say things like that always makes me cringe! But you wouldn't be Jaemin without it so it's fine. I'm slowly getting used to it!”

“I kinda want to kidnap you now and take you back to the dorms,” Ten said, resting his chin on Jaemin’s shoulder and carefully winding his arms around the boy’s waist, “Everyone is so sad at the at home. Jisung and Chenle miss you a lot. I also miss your calorie bomb breakfasts and your soy sauce egg rice.”

“Is that the only thing you miss about me?” Jaemin asked in mock anger but affectionately bumped his head against Ten’s, “Just the food I make?”

Ten chuckled, “Nah. I just miss my little brother. So come back to the dorms soon, okay?”

“I’m coming back tomorrow, though?” Jaemin said, looking at Kun to ask for confirmation, “That hasn’t changed, right?”

Kun nodded, “If you continue doing the exercises then yes, we’re bringing you home tomorrow.”

“I'm already doing it!” Jaemin protested, "I'm sick of the food, I miss my bed, I hate how white everything is and I’m so tired of how quiet it is," he complained. Leaning his back against Ten, he said, “I can’t wait to go home.”

Suddenly feeling the added weight against him, Ten looked down and Jaemin and smiled, “Hey, are you sleeping on me now? And you just woke up too.”

The younger boy cheekily grinned, “S’not my fault. The painkillers make me sleepy. And you’re really comfortable, hyung.”

Ten scoffed, shaking his head in amusement. Tightening his hold on the boy for one more moment, to savor the feeling of Jaemin’s warmth, the feeling of his beating heart, of his being alive, Ten slowly unwound his arms around Jaemin then helped the boy lie back down on the bed.

"Better?"

"Ugh. I can't wait till everything heals."

Ten chuckled, then he leaned down and brushed stray strands of hair away from the younger boy's forehead. Jaemin blinked up at him, questioning.

"Don't look at me like that," the elder scolded, "I'm not doing anything weird."

"I'd expect that from Jungwoo hyung, not you," the younger replied, prompting Jungwoo to laugh and ruffle Jaemin's hair. Jaemin's eyes were still on Ten though when he asked, "What's up?"

"What's up?" Ten repeated, staring incredulously at the younger boy, "What's up is that you're lying on a hospital bed with a huge stitch at your side! What's up is that it's only been a day since the accident and the death toll just keeps rising up and it keeps reminding us that we could've lost one of you! So forgive me," he said, smiling wryly at a wide-eyed Jaemin, "If I am a little bit out of character, you brat."

"I'm more surprised that you seem okay, actually," Lucas commented, looking at Jaemin, "Not that it's a bad thing! Just considering what happened, I think it's normal to still be a bit shaken up."

Everyone fell silent for a moment, pondering. Jaemin himself looked like there was something he wanted to say, but then the moment passed and he grinned sheepishly, "I guess it's cause I don't really think about it...? I mean, I don't know. Everyone ended up fine. We’re all gonna get back to normal eventually. That’s the most important thing, right?"

Kun chuckled, “I mean basically, yes. That is the most important thing. But I get what Lucas said. It really is amazing how well you’re taking this.”

“…is that strange?” Jaemin asked, “Am I weird?”

"No. You've always been… just a little too strong, Jaeminnie," Jungwoo said softly, as if he was thinking to himself. Then he looked at Jaemin, the expression on his face unreadable, "Back then, when you were getting treatments for your back, you whined to us a lot and was really,  _really_  annoying about it, but… you never really stopped smiling. You were gone most of the time but you were still the same old Jaeminnie that we knew and it made a lot of us forget what you were going through because it was like nothing changed.

"But the two of us were together a lot back then, so I never forgot. I would look at you smiling and encouraging us, even though it was supposed to be the other way around, and there were times when I'd think that maybe you were just bottling your feelings up, maybe you were hiding everything so we wouldn't worry. And that scared me, you know? That you'd just suddenly leave and give up one day but," he said with a small, proud smile on his face, "You didn't. I really admired you for that."

"Hyung--," Jaemin started, all at once both moved and overwhelmed having never heard his hyung's thoughts before. But before he could say anything though, Jungwoo pouted at him and flicked his forehead none too gently, "But I know you. You're just like me. So I know that there were times when you needed someone but just never asked. Just like me, just like I used to do. But now I have you and Lucas and Kun hyung. And I know you once had Hansol hyung and I know you still talk to him but please, Jaeminnie, if you need it, don't be afraid to ask. You don't have to carry your burdens by yourself."

And because Ten and Kun and Lucas were all looking at him expectantly, Jaemin nodded.

"I will, hyung," he said, "Thank you."

* * *

When he was alone in his room again later that night, Jaemin sighed.

Of course he knew that he shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. And he wasn't. No one's perfect and he never thought it was a weakness to ask but, maybe it was always bad timing or maybe it was just his bad luck, but whenever he tried, whenever he sought out someone to talk to, everyone was always too busy, or not in the mood, or just too tired.

So he just stopped asking.

Once upon a time Jaemin had Hansol, and by extension, Yuta as well. But then Hansol had to leave. And Yuta... Yuta had never really learned to speak with Jaemin without Hansol there. And the other hyungs, well… he trusted all of the hyungs, and he knew that they all cared, but Jaemin admired them too much, wanted to get their approval all the time, that he couldn’t make himself look less dependable, couldn’t risk them getting annoyed by him. Most of the time he felt his problems weren’t as big as he felt they were anyway. Because that pain in his back even after treatment? What about it? Everyone was in pain after a day’s worth of practice. His feelings of doubt, of being left out when members speak of things he had no idea of? What was the point of bringing that up? No one could do anything about that since no one could turn back time.

Besides, he had always been fine on his own, even back then. Why bother any of his hyungs now? They were all preoccupied with the other Dreamies already. Not to mention their own personal issues. Jaemin didn’t need to add to their worries. His hyungs didn't need one more person to look after. He could handle it by himself, just like before.

And it wasn't like he had no one to talk to. Jeno was always there, and Jeno was really, really good at picking up on his moods. Renjun was always there when he needed to talk too. Even Jisung was starting to get scarily good at reading Jaemin, sometimes knowing even before Jaemin himself. The younger boy would sometimes just suddenly force him to sit down, or would insist on taking a break, and it was only then that he'd realize his back was starting to act up and that he really did need to sit down and rest. Chenle couldn't be there with them all the time, but even though the younger Chinese boy looked like he didn't understand what was happening most of the time, Chenle was actually pretty good at noticing the smallest things. Whenever anyone of them needed some cheering up, Chenle would be there. Mark knew a lot of Jaemin's fears. And Donghyuck was a really good listener despite being so loud. Both Mark and Donghyuck couldn't be as present as they were before though, that was inevitable, but it was fine because Jaemin still had Jeno and Renjun and Chenle and Jisung.

There were some things lacking though. Because even though they looked after each other, the safety and comfort from someone older is different. Jaemin lost that when Hansol left. Still, it wasn't as if he wouldn't survive without it.

But Yuta talked to him a lot last night and kept him company as the other hyungs helped Jeno and Renjun get ready. Yuta looked like he swallowed a lemon the whole time though, because both of them weren't used to it anymore and it was  _awkward_ , but the Japanese did try hard. Jaemin was confused why Yuta forced himself through that but he was happy nonetheless because it was almost like how they used to be and he missed that. Yuta also promised to take him out on a trip one day, just the two of them. Thinking about that always made Jaemin smile, because he really did miss spending time with the elder boy.

And Jungwoo said it was fine to ask, too.

Jaemin really was fine on his own, he proved that to himself back then. But maybe... maybe it could be different this time. Jaemin really didn't try hard enough back then because he was always, always scared of burdening anyone with his problems. But maybe Jungwoo was right. Maybe all he needed to do was ask.

It was difficult going through a difficult time by yourself, but maybe Jaemin wouldn't have to this time around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was... difficult to write. and i don't know if i got the feelings i wanted across but, i tried my best! let me know your thoughts, please!
> 
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> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/aswellinthesea) | [twt](https://twitter.com/aswellinthesea)


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